The Little Book of Big Lies by Tina Lifford

Author:Tina Lifford
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2019-09-27T16:00:00+00:00

Standing up to old patterns lets every cell in your body know that you matter to your Self.

Question 5

Do You Think That How You Feel Doesn’t Matter?

Never ignore a person who loves you, and misses you . . . especially if that person is your Self.

WHAT DO THE GREAT LOVE AFFAIRS OF ROMEO AND Juliet, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, and Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have in common with us? They are famous, and even infamous, examples of an all-consuming passion we all have experienced . . . if only in the privacy of our minds. We know that moment in our pasts when our hearts were full to bursting with love for someone. It didn’t matter whether the person was right for us, or whether the person even knew we were alive. We were caught up in that glorious feeling we call love. What happens in these love highs however does matter. They can bring us great joy, or they can hand us a big fat lie that sets a choppy course for our lives.

In the fifth grade I was crazy about Jeffrey Alexander, who lived with his parents in a duplex downstairs from my girlfriend Debbie Smith. I talked to Debbie ad nauseam about Jeffrey. I told her how beautiful his eyes were, how his eyeglasses meant he was smart, and how much I liked his smooth Hershey’s chocolate skin.

One day, when I was walking to school with Debbie and Jeffrey, he professed his undying love for me. I did one of those “You talking to me?” double takes, and then broke into a huge smile. Debbie smiled, too. She knew his words were my dream come true. Jeffrey and I walked together to and from school that day, holding hands.

The next day our fifth-grade love was the same. Then, just before the three o’clock bell rang, Jeffrey, who was seated right behind me next to Debbie, leaned forward and whispered: “I don’t really love you. I never did. Debbie dared me to say it. Psych.” I glanced at Debbie, whose eyes seemed to twinkle with self-satisfaction. I was blindsided by their mean joke. They had lied to me about the most important thing in my ten-year-old life. Why would my friends do such a thing?

Then I turned around, and they were both laughing. I felt a sting that went deep. Unbeknownst to me, a damaging lie had just made its way into my life. It would take me years to see it, and even more years to rewire it. I’m not just talking about the lie Jeffrey and Debbie cooked up on a dare. Of course, that hurt. But their lie birthed two other lies that marked me:

Love ends suddenly . . . every time.

My feelings don’t matter.

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